Confession: I am much better about talking about tips for a
successful respite than I am about actually taking respite for myself!
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| A pedicure and a new pair of shoes - my favorite form of self-care |
It has been a while since Richard and I had a weekend for
just the two of us so I planned an overnight visit away for Robert. I contacted the facility we have used in the
past and there was some concern about Robert’s past difficult behavior and the fact he now uses a
wheelchair.
Robert’s medications have been changed since his last visit
and his mobility isn’t great but he can transfer which was their concern. I suggested I bring him for the day to start
since it had been several months since Robert had visited. The director agreed that would be a good plan
and assured me Robert was very welcome but his staff wouldn’t be able to care
for Robert if he couldn’t transfer from a chair. I assured him that he could do that and can
even use a walker for short distances. I also reiterated that Robert's behavior was much improved since his medications were changed.
So my plans for a weekend respite turned into seven hours. Plus, not only did I have less of a break, I
had to pay out of pocket for the afternoon.
Robert’s regional center will pay for overnight visits but not day
visits.
Planning a weekend respite included running errands, doing
chores around the house and partaking in a bit of self-care – maybe a massage
or manicure.
Guess what went out the window with the “weekend" respite?
I told you I am better about advising people to take respite
and taking advantage of self-care than I am about actually doing it!
These few tips are as much for me as they are for other caregivers.
Find out if your caree qualifies for paid respite. For example, Robert qualifies for respite because
he is a client of the local Regional Center. Other caregivers receive respite
care benefits through the Veteran’s Administration.
Find a good care facility. Finding a place you have confidence in will
provide peace of mind while taking respite.
If possible, keep the same facility for each respite break so the staff
is familiar with your caree and the caree is comfortable with the staff. It makes a huge difference knowing your loved
one is in good hands.
Self-care, Self-care, Self-care. Whether it is taking
a walk, taking a trip, seeing a movie, reading a book, hanging out at home with
the animals or getting pampered, it is important to use respite for some “me
time.” Of course, there are errands and
chores that need to be done but I don’t recommend doing only errands (unless
you just love to do them).
Don’t feel guilty about taking respite. (Sure, easy
for me to say!) Taking a break refills
my bucket. It helps me be a patient
person. Respite rejuvenates me so I am a better caregiver (at least it does
when I don’t squander it on chores). There is no reason to feel guilty about
taking a break. If that still doesn’t
convince you, then think of it as doing your caree a favor. They may need a
break from you too!
Please add your own tips in the comment section (I might
listen to you more than I listen to myself!).
Oh, and as far as that weekend respite? We have one
scheduled in a couple of weeks.
Never give up!
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