Happy 50th Birthday, Robert!

Robert turns 50 years old today!

After a busy year and an insanely busy summer, I think it is only appropriate to get back to this blogging business with a celebration or two – it is also my and Richard’s 18^th anniversary!

Eighteen years ago, I never imagined Robert’s birthday and our anniversary would intersect more than a phone call to wish my brother a happy day.  Robert lived independently 18 years ago and Richard and I were blending our family of three kids and numerous animals.  Robert lived in a different city with both of our parents close by and I naively did not give his future living arrangements or health a second thought. 

It never even occurred to me that one day both Richard and I would be caring for Robert after my parents passed away and as Robert’s cognitive and mobility function dramatically declined. 

In fact, it didn’t really seem in the realm of possibility that Robert would be around for 18 more years with as many times as he ended up in the ER from accidents, falls and seizures.  It is no secret that I have worried about Robert making it to this milestone birthday.  The guy has had more close calls than I can count (and that really isn’t much of an exaggeration). 

Robert dodged death when he was a teenager and nearly drowned from having a seizure in a pool.

He survived two brain surgeries, 45 years of numerous anti-seizure medications and their long-term side effects (one of which is a toxic level of ammonia right now which we’re trying to get under control), a VNS implant and removal, a Deep Brain Stimulator implant and resulting life-threatening infection traveling the leads to his brain, head injuries, burns, broken bones, pneumonia, sepsis, pneumonia and septic shock, pneumonia, pneumonia, pneumonia. Not to mention the seizure clusters he started having a year ago and which continue on a pretty regular basis.  Status Epilepticus is my concern during these awful episodes.

But he made it to 50!  Which surprises and amazes and confounds me all at once. 

Robert, of course, is not surprised at all.  He tells me frequently that God told him he wasn’t done with him and he will let him know when he is done. 

He is so matter-of-fact about dying and does not worry in the least. 

Which makes me realize Robert making it to 50 carries more significance to me than to Robert.  For Robert, his birthday is a day for him to get presents and cake and extra Rocky Road Ice Cream.  It doesn’t matter if it’s his 40^th, 50^th or 75^th.  As long as he has Rocky Road Ice Cream and we make a fuss over him, he will be happy. 

To me, Robert making it to 50 years old shows just how resilient and strong that guy is and how the power of believing in something so strongly (“it isn’t my time to go yet”) can yield such profound results.

As far as me and Richard making it to 18 years, I have to admit I am a little surprised, amazed and confounded by that as well.  We have experienced joy, success and milestones as the kids grew up but also crushing obstacles – never defeats!

We continued to walk through all of it together (sometimes one pulling the other). Our anniversary is a testament to the devotion, love and commitment we have for each other and family.

Today we will celebrate birthdays (we have several September birthdays in the family) and an anniversary by hosting a family party. 

And, of course, enjoying some delicious Rocky Road Ice Cream. 

Robert’s Birthday Fun

Robert turned 49 years old on Saturday, September 6.  Woohoo! Happy Birthday, Robert!

Richard took a birthday cake to program when he dropped off Robert on Friday morning. I had forgotten to tell program that we were doing this but they know me by now and are not going to turn away cake! 

I wondered all day how the party went so after work on Friday, I asked Robert about it.  He’s a man of few words so the conversation went a little like this:

How was program today?

Robert (smiling): It was EXCELLENT.

Did you have your birthday party?

Robert (smiling): Yes, we did!

How was the party?

Robert (with a huge smile): It was GREAT!

Did everyone sing happy birthday to you?

Robert (grinning from ear to ear): Yes, they did!

Did you guys eat cake?

Robert (still smiling): Yes, we did!

Was it good?

Robert (still smiling): It was DELICIOUS!

I think he was happy!

We let Robert sleep in a little bit on Saturday since I knew he would be up late with his family birthday party happening later in the day.  Once he woke up, Richard and I told him happy birthday! Robert responded with a “thank you” and “today is my actual birthday.”

Yes it is!

Richard and I spent the day cleaning the house and running errands to get everything ready for the family party. Robert relaxed watching Family Feud and working on his word search books.  Every now and then, Robert would tell us, “Today is my birthday!”  

We responded, “Yes, it is! Happy birthday, Robert!”

Robert was so excited about his birthday that he must have repeated this 20 times throughout the day. 

By chance, I saw San Francisco 49er football plates and napkins at the store and since Robert loves the 49ers, I thought we’d have a 49er themed party.  Richard saw them and immediately made a connection of Robert turning 49 and having a 49er party! Sounds good to me and Robert loved it!

Eventually, it was time for the party and Robert (who usually gets cranky with a lot of noise) didn’t fuss about turning off the television or having a lot of commotion. He seemed to enjoy having a lot of people talking and laughing and even gave the dogs pets when they wandered by (yes, even Taz!).

We had four dogs and nine people, sometimes all in our tiny kitchen! The laughs were just what this house needed after months of worry and decline and mood swings. (Robert’s mood has improved greatly since his medications were adjusted and he is able to walk again. It’s amazing what a difference attitude makes in everything!)

Richard grilled corn on the cob and cheeseburgers - real ones for Robert and most of our guests and veggie burgers for us and Rachel. 

Robert read all the cards after dinner and opened his gifts. He even won $15 on a lottery ticket he got as a present! Chocolate cake and Rocky Road ice cream came next and Robert was in heaven (and will be for a while because we have a lot of cake and ice cream left over!). 

Fitting for the 49er themed party, Other Brother gave Robert a 49er cap to match his own. It was delightful to see the two of them together in matching caps!

The day was also the 17^th anniversary of me and Richard which just added to the enjoyment of the day. 

After these last few difficult months, I am grateful for the gathering of our family for lots of laughs and a wonderful celebration. Even though health problems persist with Robert and Carol and Richard, I was able to appreciate how healthy they are right at this moment and enjoy the magic of the day. 

Happy birthday, Robert!