No sense burying the lead: We have decided to move Robert into our house. (Shh! It’s a secret right now so don’t tell New Home or Robert).
Ack! Phew! Goodness Gracious! Wow! What am I doing?? Sigh . . .
Moving Robert into our house has created a mini-explosion of emotion inside of my head and heart. This was not a decision made lightly but I know this is the right decision. (I’m not telling Robert just yet because he has no concept of time and he’ll think he’s moving in tomorrow).
I have been on this path of caregiving with Robert for a few years now (he was able to live fairly independently before 2008). Moving him in with me and my family seems to be the culmination of a natural progression of me caring for him but the decision was not taken lightly.
A while back, I decided to move Robert out of New Home and began searching for another home for him. I wanted to take my time to find the best place for him and got a couple of referrals from people who are familiar with clients at these homes. I researched the homes and checked on any citations and fines they may have had. I “Googled” them to see if they had been in the news for any problems at their facility. I checked the ownership of the homes to be sure the corporation that runs Robert’s New Home wasn’t involved in these homes.
I just couldn’t bring myself to see the homes.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Table Talk: Your Caregiving Journey
This morning I was interviewed by Denise Brown of caregiving.com on her weekly radio program, "Table Talk." We talked about how my relationship with Robert has changed over the years, our recent experience at the JC Penney Hair Salon (always a great place for an epiphany!) and a surprise announcement from me about Robert's living situation (which I will tell more about in a different post). You can listen to the program here. Thank you, as always, for your support!
Monday, July 4, 2011
“Just” a haircut?
Getting a haircut is not a huge deal for most people. I personally love to get my hair done because it’s an excuse to sit back and relax and have my scalp rubbed while amusing the stylist with the result of my feeble attempts to cut my bangs (“Trish, please come in for a quick bang trim between cuts! You don’t have to live with crooked bangs!”).
If Robert doesn’t keep his curly locks cut, he tends to start looking like Einstein with his unruly head of hair. Add “helmet head” to it and he needs a sprucing up every now and then. I decided to add a mustache trim to this trip since the last time his mustache was trimmed I did it (see above re my ability to cut in a straight line).
The appointment was at the local JC Penney because Robert is treated well and there is easy access in and out. Parking is available in the shade (a must when it reaches 100 degrees as it did yesterday), the elevator is not too far from the entrance and the salon is just off the elevator. Add to that the availability of restrooms across from the salon and we have everything covered.
Robert had an appointment with a new stylist which puts my protective shield up a bit since I don’t know if she’ll be uncomfortable with a disabled person and I tend to prepare for the worst. She started off making us wait 15 minutes (tick tock, people, we have a specific window between med times and thought three hours was more than enough for a 45 minute hair cut). She apologized profusely so I decided against holding a grudge, writing a letter to her supervisor and getting her fired. I suppose I can just be here for Robert’s haircut and not try to change the way Penney’s does business.
While Robert settled into the shampoo chair, the stylist asked me, “What happened to Robert?” Great question and I appreciate when people ask instead of staring in awkward silence. After answering, “He has epilepsy” and feeling the ears perk up of the other stylists and customers, I thought this was a great opportunity to talk about epilepsy and maybe teach a thing or two in the process.
While I sat congratulating myself for wanting to seize this educational opportunity Robert beat me to it.
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| Before. . . |
The appointment was at the local JC Penney because Robert is treated well and there is easy access in and out. Parking is available in the shade (a must when it reaches 100 degrees as it did yesterday), the elevator is not too far from the entrance and the salon is just off the elevator. Add to that the availability of restrooms across from the salon and we have everything covered.
Robert had an appointment with a new stylist which puts my protective shield up a bit since I don’t know if she’ll be uncomfortable with a disabled person and I tend to prepare for the worst. She started off making us wait 15 minutes (tick tock, people, we have a specific window between med times and thought three hours was more than enough for a 45 minute hair cut). She apologized profusely so I decided against holding a grudge, writing a letter to her supervisor and getting her fired. I suppose I can just be here for Robert’s haircut and not try to change the way Penney’s does business.
While Robert settled into the shampoo chair, the stylist asked me, “What happened to Robert?” Great question and I appreciate when people ask instead of staring in awkward silence. After answering, “He has epilepsy” and feeling the ears perk up of the other stylists and customers, I thought this was a great opportunity to talk about epilepsy and maybe teach a thing or two in the process.
While I sat congratulating myself for wanting to seize this educational opportunity Robert beat me to it.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Tools for Your Caregiving Tool Belt – Support for the Caregiver
We’ve added Education and Navigating Care Facilities & In-Home Care to your caregiving tool belt. We’ve also given a few tips on Navigating Government Programs (which is my personal favorite although it is the most exhausting!). After all that work, the caregiver now needs to do a little something for themselves.
The hardest part of finding help for the caregiver is actually convincing the caregiver how important it is to take care of themselves. In my “Caring for the Caregiver” post, I mentioned women caregivers are six times as likely to suffer from depression or anxiety than their non-caregiving counterparts. Let’s try to fix that.
For many conditions and diseases there are websites and online support groups supporting either the person living with the condition or their caregivers. In-person support groups are also available but many caregivers may find that it is too difficult to find care for their loved one while they attend the group meetings. Others may not be comfortable talking about their feelings or problems in a room full of strangers (even if they are in the same boat).
Online support can be a lifesaver for those who feel alone. This allows for a sense of community as well as an opportunity to learn how others solved problems that we may not know how yet to solve.
The hardest part of finding help for the caregiver is actually convincing the caregiver how important it is to take care of themselves. In my “Caring for the Caregiver” post, I mentioned women caregivers are six times as likely to suffer from depression or anxiety than their non-caregiving counterparts. Let’s try to fix that.
For many conditions and diseases there are websites and online support groups supporting either the person living with the condition or their caregivers. In-person support groups are also available but many caregivers may find that it is too difficult to find care for their loved one while they attend the group meetings. Others may not be comfortable talking about their feelings or problems in a room full of strangers (even if they are in the same boat).
Online support can be a lifesaver for those who feel alone. This allows for a sense of community as well as an opportunity to learn how others solved problems that we may not know how yet to solve.
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