He always needs a reminder to wash his hands.
Robert is a 46 year old man so I’m not comfortable taking him into the Women’s Restroom (actually, I’d be fine with it – it’s the other women in the restroom who probably would have an issue). If it’s just me and Robert out and about and he needs to use the restroom, I lead him to the Men’s Restroom and let him go in, keeping my fingers crossed he doesn’t have a seizure on the way to the stall.
Robert takes his time in the restroom (because of the apparent narcolepsy when he sits on a toilet) and I either have to wait outside for an hour, hoping he’ll wake up, or I wait until I am (fairly) certain no one else is in the restroom, knock on the door, peek in and ask Robert if he is doing okay. (This usually wakes him up).
When not knocking on the door and partially opening the door to talk to Robert, I am lurking outside the restroom getting all kinds of quizzical looks from the men going into and coming out of the restroom. I give a half-smile and feel compelled to mumble that I am waiting for my brother. The puzzled look on their face usually doesn’t go away.
This is not a new issue. Parents of opposite gender children face this when the kids get too old to be taken into the gender appropriate bathroom of either mom or dad. The child is too old to go into the opposite gender bathroom but too young for the parent to feel comfortable letting them into a public restroom on their own. What’s a parent to do?
Caregivers of a disabled spouse or parent (or sibling) and parents of disabled children face this dilemma all the time as well. Sometimes there isn’t a choice. When Robert is in his transport chair, I will have to take him into the Women’s Restroom if it’s just the two of us.
This dilemma makes me wonder how many people stay home just to avoid dealing with a potential problem. I don’t plan to stay home with Robert just to avoid having to lurk outside of the men’s public restroom or risk scorn by other women when bringing Robert into a Women’s Restroom but there might be others that do factor these things into their decision to go out shopping or to a movie.
The answer seems simple enough: more unisex restrooms! Gender neutral bathrooms seem to be popping up more and more but I really don’t understand the hesitation in creating these everywhere.
The next time you are in a public place or at a public event, check to see if there are gender neutral bathrooms and if there aren’t, think about sending an email to their corporate office. More awareness of the need for these gender neutral restrooms just might help bring about change.
I plan to send an email as soon as I’m done lurking outside the Men’s Restroom . . .
