10 Tips for the Working Caregiver

During November, for National Caregivers Month, Caregiving.com shared 10 Tips for Family Caregivers – every day. These tips came from other caregivers or Denise Brown and I have been grateful for these as there was always something someone came up with that was new and helpful.

My contributions were about caring for someone with epilepsy and, along with G-J Heins, tips for caregivers while traveling while traveling.  The tips today are about the working caregiver (and, yes, I realize it isn't November.) 

Considering 42 million Americans work while also juggling their caregiving responsibilities, we need all the help we can get. Here are the 10 tips to help the Working Caregiver I shared on Caregiving.com:  

1. Communicate with your employer.  Not everyone will be comfortable telling their employer about their personal situation and, sadly, this may not be a good idea with some employers. However, even though it isn’t even necessary to do so but it can be a huge help.  Remember, there are 42 million working caregivers so there is a pretty good chance at least some of the people you work with (maybe even the boss) are a working caregiver too.

2. Adjust your schedule.  Consider if a schedule change could help with the routine with your caree.  Maybe it would fit better with the caree’s needs to have an earlier schedule or a longer lunch. In my own experience as a manager, I have a secretary who requested an adjustment to her hours so she could see her mom in the morning and during lunch.  She wasn’t reducing the number of hours she works but making a slight change to when she worked. She is a valuable employee so we didn’t have any problem approving her request. The transition has been seamless. 

3. Know the leave laws. Ask the Human Resources Manager (or look in the employee handbook) to see if you are eligible for leave under FMLA (Federal Medical Leave Act). Additional leave laws and benefits vary from state to state but can be crucial in protecting your job. Unfortunately, not everyone qualifies under these leaves (for instance, sibling care is not covered under FMLA) so it is important to check with the HR Manager to find out exactly what you might qualify for.

4. Ask for help.   Working and caregiving can be exhausting.  Getting additional help for even a few hours a week could make the difference between burning out (fast) and feeling like the situation is manageable.  Check home health agencies, benefits provided by insurance or even ask relatives, friends or neighbors for help. 

5. Be an Exceptional Employee.  No one is indispensable and, of course, employers do have to comply with leave laws. Yet, you can buy a lot of good will by being the best employee possible which can help when asking for something the employer doesn’t have to do. 

6. Use the Employee Assistance Program.  If your employer has an EAP, you are in luck! This is a terrific service – free to the employee.  With just a phone call, there is a person waiting to talk with you and to provide you with all kinds of resources covering a variety of topics – including caregiving.   

7. Connect with others.  Whether it is with other co-workers in a similar situation or an online support group (such as Caregiving.com), reach out and talk with others in a similar situation. Caregivers are extremely resourceful and can lend a listening ear, helpful tips, support and encouragement. It might be tempting to cocoon yourself away from others but as a working caregiver we need all the connections with others we can get.  

8. Organize, Organize, Organize. Yes, I include this in every list I ever make – but it’s true! It is especially true if you are a working caregiver. Organization is not only important with the caree (keeping track of medications, doctor visits, vitals, contacts – plus a million more) but at work. If there are recurring projects, do everything possible to get as much of those tasks done ahead of time when there is a lull or a little bit of downtime.  As a caregiver, we never know when an emergency hospital visit or other emergency will strike. It will be a relief to know you are not completely behind on work if you stay organized and ahead of the game. 

9. Take a break.  I know – everyone says this and it can get annoying (especially if it seems impossible to do).  I am suggesting if you have to take care of caregiving duties on your lunch break (making doctor appointments or updating medication spreadsheets or visiting your caree), try to take a small portion of that break just for you. Read a couple of pages of a book (unrelated to caregiving). Close your eyes and take ten deep breaths. Stand up and stretch. Walk around the block. Walk to the corner if there isn’t enough time to walk around the block. Listen to your favorite music during the commute. Take those snippets of time (sometimes just a minute or two at a time) to nourish your soul and refill your bucket. 

10. Forgive yourself. You’re going to have bad mornings with your caree and sometimes they will follow you to work.  You will get cranky and tired at work. The stress will seem overwhelming and never-ending. Remember that it will be okay and tomorrow is a whole new day. Don’t waste time beating yourself up. You are not alone and you are doing extraordinary work as a working caregiver. Forgive yourself – you deserve it. 

There are so many other tips for the working caregiver but I would love for you to share your own tips. After all, we are here to learn from each other! 

Happy Anniversary, FMLA!

On February 5, 1993, President Bill Clinton signed into law the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). (Yeah, I’m a few days late with the anniversary wishes – I blame the puppy). J

FMLA provides unpaid protected leave to eligible employees employed by a business with 50 or more employees.  Specifically, the Department of Labor defines the FMLA as follows:

The FMLA entitles eligible employees of covered employers to take unpaid, job-protected leave for specified family and medical reasons with continuation of group health insurance coverage under the same terms and conditions as if the employee had not taken leave. Eligible employees are entitled to:

·         Twelve work weeks of leave in a 12-month period for:

o   the birth of a child and to care for the newborn child within one year of birth;

o   the placement with the employee of a child for adoption or foster care and to care for the newly placed child within one year of placement;

o   to care for the employee’s spouse, child, or parent who has a serious health condition;

o   a serious health condition that makes the employee unable to perform the essential functions of his or her job;

o   any qualifying exigency arising out of the fact that the employee’s spouse, son, daughter, or parent is a covered military member on “covered active duty;” or

o   Twenty-six workweeks of leave during a single 12-month period to care for a covered service member with a serious injury or illness if the eligible employee is the service member’s spouse, son, daughter, parent, or next of kin (military caregiver leave).

 

According to the Department of Labor, the “findings and purpose” of this revolutionary leave act was to “balance the demands of the workplace with the needs of families.”  

Twenty years ago, the President and Congress recognized that the majority of caregiving roles fell to women and these caregiving responsibilities affected women in the workplace more than they did men, therefore one purpose of the FMLA was to “promote the goal of equal employment opportunity for women and men.”

While the majority of caregiving responsibilities do fall to women, that has even changed over the years as more men become primary caregivers.

In a 1997 study, the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP showed the face of caregiving looking like this:

o   There were more than 22 million caregiving households;

o   73% of caregivers were women;

o   23% care for more than one person;

o   85% of caregivers care for a relative; (Robert’s Sister note: the specific relatives were not broken down in this study);

o   64% of caregivers were employed;

By 2009, a study by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP shows the changing world of caregiving:

o   65 million caregivers provide care to someone who is ill, disabled or aged;

o   66% of caregivers are women;

o   33% of caregivers take care of more than one person;

o   86% of caregivers care for a relative; 33% of caregivers care for a parent. The rest care for a child, in-law, sibling, grandparent, grandchild, spouse or other relative or friend;

o   73% of caregivers were employed at some time when they were caregiving;

o   Among the working caregivers, two-thirds have needed to revise their work schedule in order to take care of caregiving responsibilities;

The number of caregivers exploded over those years, with an increase in the number of working caregivers and those caregivers caring for more than one person.

 

It is obvious many of those being cared for do not meet the definition of family under FMLA: there are caregivers providing care to grandchildren, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings and adult children (who are not dependents) in addition to those who care for a spouse, parent or dependent child.

 

In order to keep up with the growing caregiving population – and keep those growing numbers of caregivers in the workforce – FMLA needs to change.

 

Keep in mind, FMLA is an UNPAID protected leave. 

 

Would a paid leave help family caregivers stay in the workforce longer?  Of course.  However, as an employer, I understand this could be a strain on employers so I am not asking for that (okay, not yet). 

 

What I’d like to see changed in the near future is an expanded definition of family.  Why not include siblings, in-laws, grandparents, domestic partners, adult children (non-dependents) and grandchildren? 

 

What I would like to see changed is a lower employer threshold.  Why not allow eligibility to those employed by businesses that have fewer than 50 employees?

 

FMLA needs to expand the definition of family and FMLA needs to lower the threshold of the minimum number of employees in a business to qualify for coverage. Many states have taken steps on their own to address these limitations within FMLA. 

 

California is one state which has made strides in changing the definition of family under the California Family Rights Act (CFRA) by including domestic partners but has stopped short of including any other type of family care.  Legislation has been introduced the last few years to expand the definition of family under CFRA but, unfortunately, has not yet succeeded.

 

I would like to see change in the definition of family on both the national and state level of these family leave acts.

 

I am grateful for what President Clinton did twenty years ago for the working family caregiver but it is time to recognize caregiving responsibilities have changed and include more than what was envisioned in 1993. 

 

I hope you had a nice anniversary, FMLA.

 

Now let’s make some changes.

Working and Caregiving: Communication, Flexibility, Creativity

On today’s to-do list:

·         Decorate the outside of the house;
·         Start and finish Christmas cards;
·         Pick up Robert and bring him to our house;
·         Help Robert maneuver through the myriad of Christmas decorations I have (hopefully) just installed;
·         Have Robert start his Christmas cards; Expecting him to finish in one day is unrealistic – actually expecting him to finish before Christmas is a stretch; (Yikes! I should have started a month ago!)

The list goes on but you get the idea. It’s the holidays and there’s a lot to do!

Before tackling my to-do list today, I joined Denise M. Brown of Caregiving.com on her internet radio program, “Table Talk.”  I join Denise the second Saturday of each month to talk about the issues facing working caregivers.  As Sally Abrahms, a blogger on AARP.org, shares from the AARP Public Policy Institute, “61 percent of family caregivers age 50-plus work either full-time (50 percent) or part-time (11 percent).”

That’s a lot of caregivers impacted by policies and benefits in the workplace that may or may not be sensitive to the needs of those caring for a family member or friend.

On the show today, Denise and I talked about how the holidays add extra stress to people already stretched thin with their responsibilities: work, family, caregiving, self and now the holidays.  How does the working caregiver juggle not only these responsibilities but the very real possibility of the unexpected (a hospital stay or illness) happening?

For starters, with communication, flexibility and creativity.

Employers don’t always know what an employee may need and it’s going to take a while for the law to catch up to the ever changing needs of both the employer and employee.  I know this first-hand after fighting for an expanded definition of family under CFRA.  Sibling care is not covered under either FMLA or the California version of it (CFRA).  If the law hasn't caught up yet, then employees need to ask for what they want from their employer.  Whether it’s a more flexible schedule or paid sick time to care for a relative not covered under FMLA or CFRA, communicating the employee’s needs to the employer is the first step to change.

Working caregivers can be the hardest working employees an employer has.  Add to this the benefit of having long-term employees and these are the employees employers do not want to lose.  Flexibility – from both sides – is essential to making this working caregiver situation work. 

Coming up with creative solutions so the working caregiver does not feel compelled to quit their job and the employer maintains a high quality employee is not easy but it is possible.  Flex-time, job sharing, a combination of working from home and the office are just a few creative solutions. 

Caregivers are very adept at creative decision making and problem-solving in their caregiving role and there’s no reason to think they wouldn’t be in workplace either. 

In our conversation this morning, Denise tells a funny story about how she “creatively” managed her full-time and part-time jobs. 

As a working caregiver, how do you manage both the caregiver and employee roles?  What creative solutions have you suggested or implemented as an employee or employer?  I’m interested to know how people have resolved this conflict without leaving the workforce. 

If you’d like to listen to the show today, please click here.  

I’m off to tackle my to-do list!  Wish me luck or the next picture I post could be me tangled in holiday lights and Christmas cards!

AB 2039 – Link to Testimony

Today on the internet radio program, “Your Caregiving Journey, Table Talk,” I talked with Denise Brown about testifying in front of the California Senate Appropriations Committee, my new shoes and getting through the fear to actually testify (notice I didn't say "overcome"). 

There was a request in the chat room of the program to see the link to the testimony and for the text of what I said so would like to share both.  Keep in mind, the committee wanted everyone to keep their testimony brief and to focus on the impact to business.  (You know how difficult it is for me to write something short!).   Here is the link to the session (AB 2039 is introduced around the 1:51 mark) and below is the text of what I said when I testified.  In the video, you'll see me still editing what I was going to say while the person next to me spoke in favor of the bill!

I think with each speaking experience, it will get easier and I'll do a little better each time.  I’m pretty sure I will still be terrified but at least now I know I can do it. 

And, yes, I do plan to buy a new pair of shoes for each experience! 

Here's the text of my testimony:

"Thank you, Madame Chair and Members of the Committee.  My name is Trish Hughes Kreis and I support of AB 2039.

I care for my disabled brother, Robert who is disabled due to lifelong intractable epilepsy and I also manage a local law firm.

Unfortunately, many family caregivers have to choose between their job and caring for their family member because they don’t have protected leave due to the limited definition of family.

As an employer, I’ve managed  leaves of absences and know that unpaid, protected leave has not placed an undue burden or cost to our business.

As an employer, I also see how we benefit from providing flexibility to our employees.  The loyalty an employee shows when we work with them during difficult family situations is invaluable.  This flexible approach has actually saved us money by reducing turnover costs.

I want to do what I can to ensure working caregivers are able to take protected leave to care for their family member who might not fit in the confines of the currently limited definition of family under CFRA but I also want to do what’s best for our business.

It is my belief AB 2039 would not be an undue burden on the employer and would greatly help family caregivers stay in the workforce which can only strengthen our struggling California economy.

Thanks very much to Assembly Member Swanson for this bill and thanks very much for your time."

I'd love to know what you would testify about if asked and what you would say. Please share your cause in the comment section.