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| A fond memory of mom |
It can be difficult to see the goodness even for a Pollyanna
like me, especially if I’m feeling under the weather – which I am due to a
dental implant gone wrong. As my
daughter succinctly pointed out, I have become one of “those” stories – the horror
stories people repeat to each other about medical procedures gone as wrong as
you can imagine.
Here I am on pain medication and antibiotics with a raging
infection in my mouth, swelling in my jaw and on a forced diet because I can
only open my mouth wide enough to fit in the tiniest bits of a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich (on the softest bread possible and absolutely no crust
because even that is hard to chew).
I guess pizza is a bad idea for dinner tonight.
I’m trying to get some work done from home today but it’s difficult
to avoid the news. The situation in Ohio
is nothing short of horrific which is one reason we want to crown a hero. People want to balance out the evil – let’s
see some good! Yay! The women were saved by someone not afraid to
get involved and not willing to ignore screaming from the neighbor’s
house. We have a hero!
Then, for some odd reason, we want to dig up all the dirt possible
on this man.
Guess what? People
are not perfect. People make mistakes –
big mistakes (and, believe me, spousal abuse is a big mistake). These mistakes cannot define a person,
however. These are pieces of a person’s
life – some good, some really awful.
I really don’t know anything about Charles Ramsey other than
he, along with Angel Cordero, is credited with helping Amanda Berry escape her
tormentor. That is kindness. Their efforts go a long way toward restoring
our faith in the goodness of humans.
Maybe it even helps him make peace with his past mistakes.
It’s such a simple concept: Be kind. Spread kindness. Do something kind for someone. It doesn’t have to be huge because the
ripples of kindness go beyond what we can even imagine.
I believe people want to be kind. Everyone wants to make a difference – to have
an impact and to find a purpose to being here.
When my mom was dying of liver cancer, she struggled to know what her
purpose had been. She wasn’t famous or
even outgoing but she was kind. While
she wondered what her purpose was, she tipped the cashier at the McDonald’s
drive-thru. She packed a bag full of groceries out of her
cupboards when her daughter was struggling as a single mom. She even threw in a box of dryer sheets
because her daughter thought it was too extravagant to spend $3.50 on dryer
sheets when every penny counted.
Throughout her life, Mom had also been depressed, suicidal and drank too much
boxed wine.
None of these pieces of her solely defined her. She was made up of kindness and a complicated
life and poor coping skills. In the end,
it was her kindness that won out.
We visited her favorite beach before she died and she made
friends with a small boy who decided Mom was the one person on the entire beach
he wanted to share his starfish with.
She spent time with him and made that moment on the beach memorable for
me, watching my mom exude kindness. Who knows how that kindness rippled through
the boy’s life (or mine)?
These small bits of
kindness add up and make it easier to believe in the goodness of people.
Let’s find the goodness and kindness in ourselves and share
it with the world. Even in bits as small
as my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Happy Mother’s Day, mom!
Your kindness is missed.
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