Christmas Conversations

The holidays give us plenty of family time. Sometimes the results are cherished.  Sometimes they are frustrating and sometimes they are just hilarious. Sharing a few of the Christmas-centered conversations we’ve had this month:

Choices, choices!

Me: We should get a smaller tree this year. It’ll be easier to put up since the kids are out of the house.

Richard: What?! Get a smaller tree?! We’ve never had a smaller tree!

Me: Okay. That’s fine – I was just thinking it would be better for you and not cause you more back pain.

(After a five minute drive to Lowe’s):

Richard: Maybe we should get a table top tree. Taz won’t bother it then.

Me: What?! Are you crazy!? Why would we do that? We can’t have a table top tree!

Result: We bought a 10 foot tree for the front room and a 5 foot tree for the family room where Robert spends most of his time. So much for our big ideas for smaller trees!

Getting those cards done!

As I am putting lights on the smaller tree and Robert is working on his Christmas cards:

Me: Robert, what do you think of the tree?

Robert: I can’t see it with you standing in front of it.

Um . . . the tree is not that tiny and I am certainly not that big!

Stockings for everyone!

Me: Robert, remember my friend, Pegi, whose husband is sick? Well, he’s back in the hospital and his wife is very worried about him. Can you pray for him again?

Robert: I will. What are their names again?

Me: Pegi and Jimmy. Pegi says she believes you have a direct line to God and that when you pray, he listens and it helps her husband.

Robert: Tell her thank you. I will pray for both of them.

Trish and Rachel in the Christmas Spirit

Richard: Robert, it looks like Santa left some presents under the tree for you.  Have you been good this year?

Robert: Yes. I’ve been good.

Richard: I don’t know if I’ll get any presents.  I might have been naughty.

Robert: No, you were excellent.

Richard: What about Trish?

Robert:  She was very excellent.

Our yard in 2012 - looks very similar in 2013 . . . 

Driving Robert around looking at Christmas lights, Robert gave a running commentary on all lights. His opinion ranged from nice to very nice to beautiful. What? No excellent?

When we arrived home, Richard asked Robert how the lights were. Robert’s response: Excellent!

That's what I was looking for!

Wishing everyone a very happy Christmas!  If you don’t celebrate Christmas, I wish you a wonderful season, a belated happy Hanukah and the most excellent New Year! 

Down to the Wire

Today is Sunday, December 23.  Two days before Christmas and Robert is still working on his Christmas cards.  Ack!  The pressure!  (Oh, who am I kidding? Robert feels no pressure whatsoever since he does not have any concept of deadlines).

  

I picked up Robert this morning and he is staying with us until Wednesday morning (although, remember, that’s just between us). 

 

Robert working on the Christmas Cards

Robert had a pile of unopened Christmas cards at New Home which he enthusiastically read once we got back to my house.  I explained who everyone was if he couldn’t place them and he said, “That’s nice” after reading each card.  Being the borderline hoarder that he is, he will no doubt save them forever (I just realized I do the same thing!). 

 

Robert is feeling better (except still having intense seizures) and I am also feeling better.  No one else in the household has caught the nasty bug going around (knock on wood) so we are getting back into the swing of things.

 

Which, for this time of year, means working on that never ending pile of Christmas cards. 

 

Yep.  Robert is still working on them.  Unfortunately, he will not be able to finish them all but it isn’t because he hasn’t tried.

 

Our conversation this afternoon went like this:

 

Do you want to work on your Christmas cards, Rob?

 

"Sure!"

 

How about just signing ‘Love, Robert’ on the cards?

 

Robert looked straight at me, “Okay, I will.”

 

Then proceeded to write several, painstakingly slow sentences. 

 

He wants to send the cards but he also wants to write what he wants to write.  What can I do – I have to pick my battles and, call me crazy, but rushing him on Christmas cards can't be a battle (you know, because of that whole peace on earth and good will toward men thing).

 

I am resigned to the realization this is probably Robert’s last year sending Christmas cards.  Unless we get started in July.  Hmm, maybe . . .

 

I apologize if you don’t get a Christmas card from Robert but please don’t think it was because we weren’t thinking of you!  The cards weren’t in any particular order and he just did them as he could. 

 

So if you didn’t make the cut, don’t take it personally (and know that if we do cards next year, you'll be the first in the pile!).  Robert basically writes the same thing on all his cards, only changing the salutation and signature so please consider this a Christmas card to all of you! 

 

“Dear Uncle/Cousin/Friend.  I, Robert Wright, want to wish you a very merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year.  God Bless You.  Love, Your Nephew/Cousin/Friend, Robert Wright”

 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

 

 

 

This Did Not Happen

Because Robert lives in a care facility paid for by his Medi-Cal coverage, he is only allowed to stay overnight somewhere else 73 nights in a year.  That may seem like a lot until you count up weekends, holidays, vacations plus the occasional doctor visit that happens late in the day or early in the morning where an overnight visit would be more convenient or when someone is sick and might be better cared for by family. 

I am not asking the state to pay for Robert to stay at my house overnight but do want the care facility to be paid.  I also don’t want to have to pay the care facility close to $200 a night for taking him out of the facility on night 74+. 

Call me crazy but that seems a bit excessive.  I mean, there are a lot of nice spas/hotels charging a comparable rate and I guarantee you Robert is not getting spa service over here at our house.  He might get Rocky Road ice cream or chocolate Frappuccinos from Starbucks but spa service – um, no.  Nobody is leaving fancy chocolates on his pillow. (Quick note to hubby: I wouldn’t mind fancy chocolates on my pillow!).

Apparently, the state doesn’t care about the actual days – just overnight visits.  I could, theoretically, pick Robert up first thing in the morning and return him to his care facility a minute before midnight and it wouldn’t count toward the 73 days.  Considering he lives 45 minutes away (one way), this solution isn’t that appealing to me. 

Although, for purposes of this story, that’s exactly what happened. 

Oh wait.  First, you are getting sleepy.  Very sleepy.  Look at this shiny object.  You are getting sleepy. 

Now repeat after me:  Robert did not stay at our house overnight this week more than one night. 

Now that we’re clear about what did or did not happen, and I can probably take the 5^th if ever asked about it and I know where to find a good lawyer, I’m pretty confident I can continue with the story.

I picked Robert up at his facility on Saturday and it was immediately clear he had a cold.  By Sunday morning, he was running a fever but it went away by mid-day (letting him sleep all morning and loading him up on Tylenol helped).  We had a family party to attend and, although we were late, we got there just in time for lunch and a gift exchange.  To Robert, this was perfect timing.

Once we were back home, I got Robert settled on the couch to relax with a box of tissues and a Frappuccino.  We had several recordings of Jeopardy so he couldn’t be happier.  While he watched television (and dozed), my daughter and I tackled the outdoor Christmas decorations!  Richard came out to figure out the most efficient way to hook up several dozen extension cords (you think I’m kidding) and after just a couple of hours, Phase I was complete!

Robert continued to feel the effects of a cold and didn’t eat a lot at dinner.  By Monday morning, he was again running a fever and coughing quite a bit.  Being the paranoid sister that I am (hey, his hospital stay in May for pneumonia and sepsis has me a little wary of colds), I took the day off and had him rest and see a doctor.  She ordered a chest x-ray mainly to appease me which turned out to be clear. 

 

When Robert has a cold, he gets very wobbly and it’s as if his legs turn to Jell-O. He moves slow to begin with but when he’s sick his usual two hour routine in the morning of bathing, dressing, eating and grooming (all done independently) become impossible tasks without help.  It takes me a few minutes to know whether or not I should step in to help because I don’t want to step on his independence but once I do, he’s always very appreciative.

 

“Thank you for putting my right sock on.”

“Thank you for putting my left sock on.”
“Thank you for putting my right shoe on.”

You get the idea.  He may be sick, but he’s polite.

He woke up without a fever on Tuesday (yay! We’re on the mend!).  He went to Day Program but Hubby picked him up early so he wouldn’t overdo things.  Robert and Richard spent the afternoon together while I was at work.  Robert watching Jeopardy and relaxing and Richard washing all of his bedding (Now that I think about it, I guess I should be leaving Hubby chocolates on his pillow). 

I came home a bit early that day and made potato soup for dinner.  Robert told me how delicious it was but me, still bitter about how he raved about Richard’s pancakes, jokingly said, “Just say that 10 more times and I’ll be happy.”

Looking straight at me, he repeated, “This is delicious.  This is delicious.”

Rachel said, “I think he’s counting.”

Richard said, “He’s up to four.”

He continued: “This is delicious.”

“FIVE,” we all shouted.

“This is delicious.”

“SIX.”

“This is delicious.”

“SEVEN.”

On it went until we shouted “TEN” and broke into cheers! 

Robert grinned from ear to ear.  After dinner, he went to bed a little early and seemed well enough on Wednesday to last a whole day at Day Program.  He was still wobbly but Day Program is flexible enough that Robert could enjoy a quiet activity for the day.  Just a movie and quiet time and then back to his care facility where he can stay until this weekend. 

They know he’s been sick and are keeping an extra eye on him and (hopefully) helping him get around until his legs get their strength back and his balance returns.

It’s this sort of collaborative care and communication with his other caregivers that I wished the state was concerned about instead of how many overnight visits one client may (or may not) have.  After all, isn’t this sort of collaboration what keeps people healthier?  Out of hospitals?  Happier?  Saving the state money?

I’d love for the system to allow more flexibility but, in the meantime, if someone asks if Robert stayed with us for a few extra nights this week, in true Sergeant Shultz fashion my answer will be a resounding:

“I know nothing.” 

Oh, you can wake up out of your trance now.  Just remember, this was all a dream and this did not happen.

What Robert Loves About Christmas

Robert Loves Christmas!

Okay, I admit, Robert isn’t the only one in the family who loves Christmas (and Thanksgiving). 

My daughter is CRAZY for Christmas (okay, yes, so am I). 

Tree #2

For years I have wanted a second, smaller tree in the corner of our family room and, fighting the “oh my god you’re going to extremes/lost your mind/are a Christmas nut case” voice in my head, we got one this year.

Having the second tree helps so we can use all the ornaments we want to use (rationalization) and gives the room more holiday cheer than just the garland over the fireplace and since Robert is the family room quite a bit, this brings the holiday cheer to him (more rationalization).

Getting into the holiday spirit, I thought it would be fun to ask Robert what his favorite part of the holiday was.  On the way to Day Program, when he usually busily works his word search puzzle, I brought up the subject.

Me: What’s your favorite part of the holidays, Robert?

“Christmas.” (He’s so literal sometimes).

Back to the word search puzzle.

Me: Well, what’s your favorite part of Christmas?

“Everyone gets gifts.” (Sweet that he is thinking of all of us getting gifts, not just him).

Back to the word search puzzle.

Me: What else?

“Word search puzzles.”  (Hmm, is he trying to tell me something?)

He continues searching for the next word in his book.

I’m relentless: I mean about Christmas.

“Everything. I love it all.”

Back to his word search.

Alright, I can take a hint (finally).  It wasn’t exactly the warm, fuzzy talk about the holidays I was expecting but who can argue with, “I love it all.”

Now I wonder what I should get him for Christmas . . .

Holidays & Tradition

We love Christmas at our house.  Oh, who am I kidding?  We love all the holidays!  Any excuse to decorate the house and yard (Halloween, Christmas) or cook a big meal (with homemade pecan pie) for the entire family (Thanksgiving) or watch fireworks from the local Futon Shop parking lot (4^th of July and a blog post all its own).

Only the beginning!

We have our holiday traditions although some of them may not be for everyone (it takes a special person to want to watch fireworks from the parking lot of a furniture store).  One of our traditions at Christmas is to decorate the outside of the house  with hundreds of lights, candy canes, snowmen, blow up penguins – you name it, we probably have it and if we don’t it’s because it won’t fit in the yard.

Confession: we have so many holiday decorations that my husband gave me a birthday gift of a shed to store them all in!

I know this isn’t very “green” of me to indulge this tradition but it is fun, it brings us joy to set it all up and brings joy to people driving by our house to look at the decorations.  It even brings the electric company joy (okay, that’s my least favorite part aside from taking them all down).

Yesterday, hubby hauled all the decorations out of the shed (no small feat for someone with chronic back pain) and my daughter and I went to work setting everything up.  Once hubby recovered from the hauling, he helped hang snowflakes from the gutters.  Robert was visiting for the Thanksgiving weekend but, at first, didn’t care to sit outside to watch the transformation.  He thought it would be too cold outside; plus, he had a word search puzzle to finish.

Midway through the decorating, Daughter and I had to make a trip to Target to get more lights (hey, it was needed - this was the year many of the lights decided to not work and there were those cute snowflakes we needed more of).   When we returned, Robert joined us on the porch wearing a warm jacket and watched us blow up penguins, put together a train and install solar candy canes along the sidewalk.  We’re getting more “green” this year after all!

We were thrilled with the result after working on it all day (and we’re not even done yet – there are always more lights to hang!).  Robert looked at the finished product and proclaimed it looked “excellent” which is saying a lot, considering his usual response to anything is a very understated, “that’s nice.”

Daughter, husband and I had to agree: it was pretty excellent!

What traditions do you enjoy with your family?  Anyone else enjoy decorating to the extreme?