Former caregiver to my brother Robert who passed away unexpectedly (necrotizing pancreatitis resulting in septic shock). Navigating the aftermath of my husband, Richard, surviving a "widow maker" heart attack and continued cardiac issues. And, oh, I had a stroke a few years ago. Co-author of the 365 Caregiving Tips: Practical Tips from Everyday Caregivers book series and author of Forever a Caregiver. Advocate and believer in miracles. Writing to help other caregivers and to keep my sanity.
I
am so happy I was able to get a follow-up interview with Connor. He first came
to my attention (and millions of others) when he made it to the top 12 of America’s Got Talent! His
indoor kite-flying talents and endurance in fighting his epilepsy and dealing
with being bullied made all of us admire and root for this kid.
Connor Doran Indoor Kite Flying
Imagine
my delight when I went out on a limb and asked him to participate in the 2012
Epilepsy Awareness Month interviews and he said yes! I was honored and
impressed that the fame hadn’t gone to his head and he was willing to talk to
some lady from Sacramento with a blog in order to help spread epilepsy
awareness.
Connor
is as busy as ever but took time to tell me what he has been up to the last
four years and to share his life with epilepsy.
Robert’s
Sister: I am curious what changes have occurred in the
last four years. Please remind us how epilepsy
has affected your life.
My
name is Connor Doran and I have Epilepsy. I have been seizure free for the past
8 years; however, my girlfriend has seizures on a weekly basis so it is very
scary for me to watch her have a seizure. I don’t have a lot of experience
taking care of someone else when they are having a seizure but I am beginning
to learn how to deal with someone else when they have seizures. I hope to get
my first aid card.
Robert’s Sister:
What is the most significant change in your life since our last interview?
Since
the last time we talked I have moved to Seattle, Washington and I graduated
from South Puget Sound Community College with my Associate of Arts degree. I
hope to attend the University of Puget Sound in order to get my BA in Sociology
so I can help other people who struggle with the same problems and are facing
the same kind of discrimination that have happened to me. I have also met the
love of my life who I hope to marry.
Connor and the love of his life
Robert’s Sister:
Has the treatment changed for you or your loved one?
Treatment
has not changed for me. My girlfriend who has Epilepsy as well just got a
seizure dog back in June and we are hoping that her seizure dog will help keep
her from falling and hurting herself whenever she has a seizure.
Robert’s Sister:
What sort of cognitive, intellectual,
emotional or physical changes have you noticed these last four years?
My
cognitive, intellectual and emotional abilities have not changed since we last
talked. I have built up a lot more muscle mass because I work out a lot. I say
this because you can be the strongest person or smartest person in the world no
matter who you are.
Robert’s Sister:
What caregiving help do you use?
I
am lucky enough not to need any caregiving help. I have a Smartwatch
that detects if I am going to have a seizure and lets my family and friends
know where I am if I have a seizure. The Smartwatch allows me to be very
independent.
Robert’s Sister:
Do you think your life with epilepsy has improved, stayed the same or become
worse these last four years? Can you tell us why you think so?
Living
with Epilepsy has stayed the same for me. It has not gotten worse and it has
not gotten better. All I know is that it has given me obstacles to achieve what
I want to achieve in life but that doesn’t stop me from achieving my goals and
dreams and starting a life that I want. Remember you may have Epilepsy but
Epilepsy doesn’t have you.
Robert’s
Sister: What has been your favorite moment
these last four years?
My
favorite moment was when I graduated from college back in June. Because it gave
me confidence that if I can graduate college with Epilepsy induced Anxiety than
I can do whatever I want in life regardless of Epilepsy.
Robert’s Sister:
What do you see for yourself in the next four years?
My
dream is for my girlfriend to move Seattle with me so we can get married and
spend the rest of our lives at a luxurious house right on the Puget Sound and
live happily ever after.
Robert’s
Sister: Is there anything else you want
to say?
Just
remember, you may have Epilepsy but Epilepsy does not have you. If you can
dream it you can do it.
Robert’s
Sister: Please tell us how we can
contact any organizations you support or if you have a website or business.
Oh this update
makes me so happy! Congratulations, Connor, on graduating with your AA and for
finding the love of your life! Thank you for sharing how much can be done, even
after having been bullied, having epilepsy and overcoming all kinds of
obstacles.
You are an
inspiration!
My one and only
disappointment is that Connor has not yet introduced me to Howie Mandel! J
I usually only catch one or two acts from the show, America’s Got Talent (not because I’m a television snob but because I’m busy watching my
DVR which is full of NCIS, Dexter and Modern Family).
You’d think I would watch more of it since I’ve been a Howie
Mandel fan since his “Bobby’s World” days
(I told you I wasn’t a television snob) when Rach and I would laugh and I’d try
to mimic the Wisconsin accent of his mother (walking around the house saying, “Don'tcha
know” in a funny voice always got a giggle from my daughter).
Even though I was a sporadic viewer of AGT, I somehow
managed to catch the act of the kid who had been bullied, had epilepsy and did
a beautiful act with indoor kite flying.The kite flying was mesmerizing and this kid’s story was inspirational.Connor Doran made it to the Top 12 a couple
of years ago and continues to inspire with his kite flying act.
I’m very excited and honored that he took time out of his
busy schedule to talk with me about his epilepsy.
Please meet Connor: an America’s Got Talent Top 12 finalist, an
Indoor Kite Flier and strong Epilepsy Advocate.
He’s also met Howie Mandel.
“Don’tcha know.”
Robert’s Sister:When were you first diagnosed with
epilepsy?Was it a lengthy process to
get diagnosed?
I was diagnosed at age 4. I started having petit mal
seizures just before my 4th birthday. I was blinking a lot, and staring and no
one really knew what it was.I was having
30 – 40 “episodes” a day.My mom videotaped
one of the episodes and took it to my regular doctor.He sent me for an EEG and I had a seizure
during the EEG.
For those of you unfamiliar, an Electroencephalography (EEG)
is the recording of electrical activity along the scalp. EEG refers to the
recording of the brain's spontaneous electrical activity over a short period of
time, usually 20–40 minutes.
Robert’s Sister:How did you feel when you were
diagnosed?
I was only 4, so I was too young to know what was
happening.I really did not have any
feelings about it then. But as I got older, and my seizures came back at age
14, I was really scared, and worried.I
got nervous and depressed, and I started to develop OCD (Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder).
Robert’s Sister:Did your family treat you differently after
the diagnosis?If so, how?
Hi, Amy Doran, Connor’s Mom here. I would like to answer this one as Connor has
no memory of being treated differently by family.
The truth is, his Dad and I worried all the time.We became concerned about water, stairs,
slides, any place where Connor could fall or get hurt.We were on constant watch.I think you truly understand what it means to
be “on watch” when your child is diagnosed with epilepsy. We struggled to find
answers, cures, reasons.It was really
tough.
I am glad Connor has no memory of being treated differently
because I suppose that means we did a pretty good job of hiding our own
fears.But it was a big change in all of
our lives when Connor was diagnosed with epilepsy.
Robert’s Sister:Did the kids at school treat you differently
because you had epilepsy?
My family didn’t treat me differently, but my school
did.My peers treated me differently
because the epilepsy caused anxiety for me which made me nervous about
everything.(Epilepsy induced
anxiety).The kids took advantage of
that and would try to scare me. They made fun of me as well. It made me feel like a target . . the number
one person to pick on, and be victimized.
Robert’s Sister:What treatments have you tried?What has worked?What hasn’t worked?
After I was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 4, the doctors
put me on Zarontin. It worked great for four years.When I was 8, my seizures started up again
and the doctors added Zonegran.That
made me sick. I was tired all the time, and having headaches. It also made me
sleep walk.I went off the Zonegran and
my doctor added Topamax.So I was taking
Zarontin and Topamax. While it did not make me sick, it was not controlling my
seizures.
So I had to go off the Topamax, and they put me on Depakote
and Zarontin.That did not stop the
seizures either.We were getting pretty
discouraged at this point. It had been a year and a half of trying new
medications with no results.
By this time, my mom and dad decided to take me to OHSU
Doernbecher Children’s Hospital in Portland Oregon, to see a specialist named
Dr. Roberts.He recommended that we
should try a Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS).He wanted us to go to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, which is a
top Neurological Center.
I was only supposed to be there one day for a 24 hour
EEG.Five days later, I was still hooked
up to the EEG and was really ready to go home to Oregon.They determined that I was not a good
candidate for the Vagus Nerve Stimulator and decided the best treatment was to
keep trying new meds.They prescribed Lamictal
on top of the Zarontin.I had great
results and no seizures for four years.
When I was 14 years old, the seizures came back, this time
with grand mals, and tonic type seizures.
The doctors raised my amount of meds with no results. Then
they added Keppra. That seemed to help for about three months. Then the seizures returned.So it was back to see Dr. Stephen Ireland. He had been treating me for
the past eight years and was really patient and understanding.He did some adjusting of my medication
amounts, but then eventually added Clonazepam.
On a side note:
In Oregon, you have to be seizure free for three months
before you can drive. I was just at the age to take my permit test and I was
really excited about that.My first
attempt at the written test did not go well. My second attempt I missed one
question too many to pass.I was really
disappointed, and my mom and I were talking about when I could go back and take
the test again.Later that evening I had
a grand mal seizure.It was then I
realized that I was not going to drive. It was too dangerous for me to drive.
The medications I was on were making me too sleepy and my focus would not be good.I was not comprehending all the info I would
need to operate a 2000 pound car.With
my seizures coming back, I was concerned I would have a problem while
driving.I did not want to take any
risks of hurting anyone else or myself.It was a tough decision for a 15 year old to make. All my friends were
learning to drive and excited about it.But I made the right decision, and at age 19, I still do not drive. I am currently taking four seizure medications: Clonazepam,
Zarontin, Keppra and Lamictal as well as Zoloft for anxiety. Robert’s Sister:Do you think the medications affect how you
feel?
Yes, the medications add to my anxiety. When I first started
Keppra it made me irritable but that has gone away.I sleep a lot, because many of the meds that
I am on make me really tired. I have
been able to overcome some of the tiredness.One thing I have trouble with is eating. I am not very hungry and I have
to be reminded to eat regularly.That is
a side effect of three of the meds I am on.
Robert’s Sister:Have you done any advocacy work (individually
or with an organization) or participated in any research studies?What made you want to be involved?
For the past two years, I have been performing all over
North America.Before each event or
performance I connect with the Epilepsy Foundation in that area and we try to
work together to raise awareness and help others connect so they can get the
support and help they need.I have just
recently done performances to raise money to support the Sparrow Clubs, the
National Epilepsy Foundation, and others.It’s important to me to stay focused on helping others. It only takes a
few words of encouragement to someone to make a difference in their lives.This past year I have done 24 events so
far.Here are just some of the events I
have been honored to be at.
• Keynote Speaker at the National Walk for Epilepsy in
Washington DC • Developed The Dare to Dream Team to raise Epilepsy
Awareness and raise money for the Epilepsy Foundation. • Invited to perform at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum
Washington DC
[Editor’s note: for a full list, please visit Connor’s
website.] Robert’s Sister:How has epilepsy affected your life?
Epilepsy has changed my life.It was not a good situation for me because I
had trouble with schoolwork, and I was being bullied.I had issues with understanding some of the
subjects. I have developed OCD, and an anxiety disorder, due to having
epilepsy.
I thought I was totally alone.The idea of joining a support group made me
feel like I was different.I didn’t want
to be treated differently.I truly
believed that I could accomplish whatever I wanted.
I was starting to fly kites when I was 14 and realized how
helpful it was for my stress and anxiety.
I used to watch videos of other kite fliers, and performers
on different shows. It was then that I
got the idea to try out for America’s Got Talent Season 5.
Robert’s Sister:What is your favorite memory?
My favorite memory has to be my experience on America’s Got
Talent.The night that I auditioned in
Portland Oregon changed my life. I spoke openly about having epilepsy and how kite
flying has helped me deal with that.
The best way I can share that moment is to actually share
the video:
After that night, I heard from people all over the world. I
was shocked and amazed at how many people saw the show.I received emails, letters and phone calls
from so many people that have gone through the same thing I had.I had no idea there would be such a reaction
to what I had talked about on the show.There were so many people that had never seen indoor kite flying.
After I went to Las Vegas on the show, I was
eliminated.A couple months later, I got
a phone call from my producer on America’s Got Talent. He told me I was being
considered as a Wild Card for the live show in Los Angeles.That was a pretty awesome day for me.It was not a sure thing, but I was working
hard practicing just in case.The day I
got the call to be in Los Angeles in six days was just an incredible feeling. I
was nervous, but so excited to be heading to the live quarter finals. Here is a video of that show:
Robert’s Sister:Do you ever wish you didn’t have epilepsy?
I wonder if I would have been different, if I didn’t have
epilepsy.Would I be a driver? Would I
have been a science or math genius?Would I have gone on America’s Got Talent?
Would I have been the person I am today? These are all
questions I ask myself.Epilepsy could
have limited my life in a lot of ways.It certainly has affected my life.But it has also helped me be a stronger person.Yes, I wish I did not have it, I wish it did
not exist for anyone, but having said that, you have to decide to overcome
those challenges.It’s a choice you
have to make to try and find the positive, the possibilities, and the dreams.
Robert’s Sister:What do you want people to know about
epilepsy?
If you are diagnosed with Epilepsy, remember that you may
have epilepsy, but it does not have YOU!
You are not alone, and there are many people out there going
through the same thing you are. Reach out, and connect with others.If you are not sure how, email me and I am
happy to help you get connected.Remember
I thought I was alone too.
If you don’t have epilepsy, you can still be helpful by
knowing what to do if someone has a seizure and you are there.Don’t be caught unprepared.You can, and will make a difference in
someone’s life by knowing what to do.1
in 10 people will have a seizure in their lifetime.There are no rules about who can have a
seizure. It can happen at any age, to anyone.People do not realize how serious epilepsy can be.Epilepsy Awareness is key!For more information on what to do if someone
has a seizure check out this web page here.
Robert’s Sister:Is there anything else you want to say?
We have had many incredible opportunities to travel and
perform in the past two years.The Dare
to Dream concept is growing and I look forward to teaching others how to deal
positively with the challenges life gives us all.The program inspires people of all ages to be
advocates, to speak out about bullying, and to believe in themselves.If you are interested in having the Dare to
Dream program at your event or school, please contact me at
connordorankite@gmail.com.
I want to say Thank You to Revolution Kites for all their
encouragement and support.They have made
so many things possible for me and I am truly grateful.Also, the emails and messages that people
have sent truly mean a lot to me. It helps to know that you have helped someone
else in their journey.Remember, if you
can dream it, you can do it!
Robert’s Sister:Please tell us how we can contact any
organizations you support or if you have a website or business.
Robert’s Sister:Many thanks to Connor for taking time out of
his busy schedule to answer my questions!(Next
time you see Howie, please tell himhi
for me.)J
We're in the home stretch! Each day in November we have a new story about someone
affected by epilepsy telling us “What Epilepsy Means to Me.”Check back tomorrow for our next story!If you’re interested in telling your own
story about epilepsy, please contact me at robertssister@att.net.