Robert is sporting six new staples in the back of his head and I got to visit two hospitals in one day. (Maybe I should become a hospital Secret Shopper!).
At 6:00 a.m. my husband’s mom went in for a Valvuloplasty to help out her heart. We were at a downtown hospital to visit with her before she was put under and stayed until the procedure was over. Her procedure was pronounced a success and she’ll be home – better than ever – tomorrow.
At 5:30 p.m. I was finishing up at the office when I got the call that Robert had fallen and had a gash in his head. Off I went to meet him at New Hospital. I confirmed Robert was following the “must wear helmet at all times” rule but somehow he fell backwards onto a large, fancy scale and something metal wedged itself under his helmet. (With a lot of force apparently).
A few hours and six staples later, Robert was back at the New Home brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed. (I watched the stapling while cringing – I guess I can cross off “doctor” from my list of future careers). The stapling didn’t bother Robert; the only thing causing him concern was that the hospital didn't carry the TV Land Channel and he got to bed later than his preferred bedtime of 9:00 p.m. on the dot.
The New Hospital was fabulous as always. Volunteers asked if House Manager and I would like coffee or water. They brought Robert a warm blanket and pillow. Robert was able to watch his beloved Wheel of Fortune in his private room while waiting for the staples to be . . . stapled. The nurses and doctors were professional, courteous and even had a sense of humor – right up Robert’s alley.
The doctor was at first confused as to why Robert had a seizure. I explained that it is common for Robert to have breakthrough seizures which is why he wears a helmet. The doctor glanced at Robert’s helmet on the counter and then back to the still bleeding gash on Robert’s head and said, “Well, I guess he needs to be bubble wrapped.”
Please don’t give New Home any ideas.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Sometimes You Have to Settle for PB&J
Robert eats hamburgers at my house on a pretty regular basis. He eats “combination” pizza if it’s pizza night at our house when he’s over. He also eats turkey when he comes over for Thanksgiving.
All that may sound like (1) a pretty boring start to a blog post and (2) fairly common meal selections.
Except my husband, daughter and I are vegetarian. My other two kids (Richard’s kids, to be technical, but we’ve been married so long there’s no “his” or “hers” any longer, just “ours”), are not vegetarian so we are used to having meat in the house.
On Easter, however, there was no meat in the house. The two meat-eating children hadn’t been over for a while and since we planned on eating out for dinner I didn’t think about going grocery shopping.
Robert loves his meat. He doesn’t care what kind, just as long as it’s meat.
When I visit him, I always ask what he had for dinner.
“Umm. . . bread. . . and. . . some fruit. . . and. . . Meat.”
What kind of meat?
“Ummm. . . it was just Meat.”
Obviously, not a discerning meat eater. As long as it is recognizable as meat, he’s happy (although I have slipped him a vegetarian sausage or two).
On Sunday, I asked Robert what kind of sandwich he’d like for lunch.
Do you want a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich or a cheese sandwich? (I’m quite the chef, as you can tell).
Long pause.
“Do you have Meat?”
Nope. I can make you an egg salad sandwich, though.
Long pause and a long stare. Mental note: he doesn’t like egg salad.
“No Meat, you say?”
Peanut Butter & Jelly or cheese. Sorry.
“Hmm. What kind of jelly?”
Yay! We’re getting somewhere.
In spite of the disappointment of not having Meat, he seemed to enjoy his PB&J (it was strawberry jam, by the way) and apple slices.
It’s important to me to allow Robert to be who he is – a church-going, meat-loving, card shark – but sometimes, settling for a PB&J can’t hurt.
All that may sound like (1) a pretty boring start to a blog post and (2) fairly common meal selections.
Except my husband, daughter and I are vegetarian. My other two kids (Richard’s kids, to be technical, but we’ve been married so long there’s no “his” or “hers” any longer, just “ours”), are not vegetarian so we are used to having meat in the house.
On Easter, however, there was no meat in the house. The two meat-eating children hadn’t been over for a while and since we planned on eating out for dinner I didn’t think about going grocery shopping.
Robert loves his meat. He doesn’t care what kind, just as long as it’s meat.
When I visit him, I always ask what he had for dinner.
“Umm. . . bread. . . and. . . some fruit. . . and. . . Meat.”
What kind of meat?
“Ummm. . . it was just Meat.”
Obviously, not a discerning meat eater. As long as it is recognizable as meat, he’s happy (although I have slipped him a vegetarian sausage or two).
On Sunday, I asked Robert what kind of sandwich he’d like for lunch.
Do you want a Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich or a cheese sandwich? (I’m quite the chef, as you can tell).
Long pause.
“Do you have Meat?”
Nope. I can make you an egg salad sandwich, though.
Long pause and a long stare. Mental note: he doesn’t like egg salad.
“No Meat, you say?”
Peanut Butter & Jelly or cheese. Sorry.
“Hmm. What kind of jelly?”
Yay! We’re getting somewhere.
In spite of the disappointment of not having Meat, he seemed to enjoy his PB&J (it was strawberry jam, by the way) and apple slices.
It’s important to me to allow Robert to be who he is – a church-going, meat-loving, card shark – but sometimes, settling for a PB&J can’t hurt.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter
Somehow, with obviously little help from our parents, Robert has found great comfort, peace and acceptance by going to church. Robert says grace before every meal, says “God Bless You” to everyone he meets and prays before going to sleep at night. He tells me it takes him 30 minutes to say all of his nighttime prayers (knowing Robert, he prays for everyone he knows, anyone he happened to meet that day and, just for good measure, for him to win a few more card games). He gives my Polish Catholic grandmother (a woman who is never without her Rosary Beads) a run for Most Religious Person in Our Family.
Before I moved Robert into a care facility, he went to church every Sunday and participated in weekly bible studies as well. It was not unheard of for him to be at church events two to three times a week. I know this group of people was very important to Robert but I was soured on his church several years ago when they advised him to stop taking his seizure medication because he was “cured.”
Robert ended up in the hospital because he wouldn’t stop seizing. I’m sorry but that is just irresponsible and I tend to hold a grudge. (Yeah, yeah, I know – if only I was more religious I would be more forgiving.).
Thursday, April 21, 2011
On the Plus Side . . .
Seeing the silver lining in difficult situations is my specialty but can be challenging at times even for a Pollyanna like me. I do my best not to obsess about Robert’s long-term future but I am failing miserably lately. Robert forgetting his roommate’s name the other night really threw me for a loop. Is his memory going to further decline? Will his balance issues continue to get worse eventually landing him in a wheelchair? What will his life be like in a year? In five years?
What is his life expectancy? (Yes, I worry about this.)
Where’s the silver lining? Where are the positives that I can hold on to? He remembered his roommate’s name last night but needed confirmation that he was correct. He was! That’s progress but still disconcerting. We’ll put that in the “plus” column anyway.
Robert’s incontinence is getting worse (more frequent accidents in the daytime) but, on the plus side we may have found a solution for the nighttime incontinence. See? Silver lining! I am having him try out nighttime briefs that are kept closed with adhesive instead of the pull-up type. One Aide has reported that the sheets were dry the following morning. Yay! Another one for the plus column.
(I don’t have any more reports since that first one because why would the New Home want to inform me about anything like that? After I’ve asked them a hundred times to communicate with me? Me and my crazy expectations. Enough of that snarkiness – trying to stay positive here).
Back to the positives: Day Program called today to discuss the increased incontinence and leaking onto his clothes. (In case you missed it, the plus in that sentence is that they called me.) Day Program suggests regularly reminding Robert to use the restroom. This is a great idea but (as they kindly put it) Robert can be “pretty head strong about his independence.” What a nice way to say he’s a stubborn hard head! After talking with Robert tonight, he seemed to be on board with the idea which is heartening. Robert gets really embarrassed when he has accidents so I am willing to try anything to prevent them. I greatly appreciate the Day Program being proactive about this (plus, plus, plus!).
(The New Home hasn’t been proactive about anything except they did install that “bell” for Robert after his latest fall. He’s supposed to use it before he gets out of bed. As I suspected, he uses it when he’s in bed and wondering where his medication is. And when he needs to throw something in the garbage. And when the television remote was lost he used it to ask the Aide to change the channel. He’s never used it before he gets out of bed. Gee, I wonder who told them that would happen??)
Oops, slipped away from the plus column for a minute. . .
In spite of the increased memory and incontinence issues, Robert continues to tell jokes. He makes himself (and others around him) giggle several times a day. The smirk he gets on his face when he says “just joking, just joking” tells me he delights in making other people laugh.
It doesn’t get much more positive than that.
What is his life expectancy? (Yes, I worry about this.)
Where’s the silver lining? Where are the positives that I can hold on to? He remembered his roommate’s name last night but needed confirmation that he was correct. He was! That’s progress but still disconcerting. We’ll put that in the “plus” column anyway.
Robert’s incontinence is getting worse (more frequent accidents in the daytime) but, on the plus side we may have found a solution for the nighttime incontinence. See? Silver lining! I am having him try out nighttime briefs that are kept closed with adhesive instead of the pull-up type. One Aide has reported that the sheets were dry the following morning. Yay! Another one for the plus column.
(I don’t have any more reports since that first one because why would the New Home want to inform me about anything like that? After I’ve asked them a hundred times to communicate with me? Me and my crazy expectations. Enough of that snarkiness – trying to stay positive here).
Back to the positives: Day Program called today to discuss the increased incontinence and leaking onto his clothes. (In case you missed it, the plus in that sentence is that they called me.) Day Program suggests regularly reminding Robert to use the restroom. This is a great idea but (as they kindly put it) Robert can be “pretty head strong about his independence.” What a nice way to say he’s a stubborn hard head! After talking with Robert tonight, he seemed to be on board with the idea which is heartening. Robert gets really embarrassed when he has accidents so I am willing to try anything to prevent them. I greatly appreciate the Day Program being proactive about this (plus, plus, plus!).
(The New Home hasn’t been proactive about anything except they did install that “bell” for Robert after his latest fall. He’s supposed to use it before he gets out of bed. As I suspected, he uses it when he’s in bed and wondering where his medication is. And when he needs to throw something in the garbage. And when the television remote was lost he used it to ask the Aide to change the channel. He’s never used it before he gets out of bed. Gee, I wonder who told them that would happen??)
Oops, slipped away from the plus column for a minute. . .
In spite of the increased memory and incontinence issues, Robert continues to tell jokes. He makes himself (and others around him) giggle several times a day. The smirk he gets on his face when he says “just joking, just joking” tells me he delights in making other people laugh.
It doesn’t get much more positive than that.
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