tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post948207949319993810..comments2024-03-12T02:16:30.251-07:00Comments on Robert's Sister: Diving into the Deep EndTrish Hughes Kreishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-45031238703497740532011-07-19T17:49:58.276-07:002011-07-19T17:49:58.276-07:00Thank you so much, Joan! You know I'll be visi...Thank you so much, Joan! You know I'll be visiting www.joanoliveremmer.com for some comic relief when things get tough. :-)Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-91962976307878963152011-07-19T13:04:18.487-07:002011-07-19T13:04:18.487-07:00I LOVE the fact that you have such a supportive fa...I LOVE the fact that you have such a supportive family, worrying about how this is going to affect YOU, not just them. I truly admire you for your the selflessness you display towards your brother. You will be paid back in spades. Keep us informed how it all goes!Joan Oliver Emmerhttp://www.joanoliveremmer.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-29033611451324537632011-07-18T21:28:31.287-07:002011-07-18T21:28:31.287-07:00BccMee, You should play the lotto because you are ...BccMee, You should play the lotto because you are a very good guesser! LOL. Yes, I am a bit on the organized side. :-) I appreciate your comments and we are just going to do the best we can until it no longer works for Robert. I think he'll be pretty happy, though!Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-74635187647429631692011-07-18T21:25:52.765-07:002011-07-18T21:25:52.765-07:00Julie, Thanks so much for sharing your experience....Julie, Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Caregiving comes in all different shapes & sizes and it sounds like you did exactly the right thing - following your mom's wishes. As you found, caregiving needs & situations change which I expect to happen with Robert, too. We just have to take each situation as they come and do the best we can!Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-3641292557444580542011-07-18T21:23:07.841-07:002011-07-18T21:23:07.841-07:00Beautifully put, Laine! "the difference betwe...Beautifully put, Laine! "the difference between a life and an existence." That is exactly why I want to do this. Robert is "housed" right now and I want him to feel as if he lives at home. I want to put the "care" back in "board and care!" :-)Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-32529392788892720462011-07-18T13:33:41.585-07:002011-07-18T13:33:41.585-07:00Crying tears of pride Trish! I know that you have...Crying tears of pride Trish! I know that you have wrestled with this situation not whether you want to take of Robert but whether you can give him the necessary level of care. <br /><br />Perhaps if you make him a ward of the court you would still be able to get the Medi-Cal benefits? <br /><br />I think its the difference between a life and an existence for Robert and hopefully will reduce your stress level at the same time. <br /><br /><br /><br />Wow you inspire me every time!<br />Beautiful! You and your decision.<br /><br /><b>Laine D. <br /><i>"Aspire to Inspire" </i> </b><br />http://www.ThoughtsfromABroad.netLaine Dhttp://www.ThoughtsfromABroad.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-73039984458809640112011-07-18T11:08:20.774-07:002011-07-18T11:08:20.774-07:00My mom has to have caregivers in the Uk as she is ...My mom has to have caregivers in the Uk as she is unable to take care of herself, this was the only option for us as she was determined to stay in her own home. She stayed with us for a while in Florida but she wants to be in her own town in her own home. and luckily we were able to do that. it is a wonderful thing you are dong for your bother.Julie Labeshttp://www.fierceover50.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-68015885199329199042011-07-18T11:07:13.179-07:002011-07-18T11:07:13.179-07:00Congratulations on your big decision. It definitel...Congratulations on your big decision. It definitely sounds like the right choice for the time being, and as you said, this need not be permanent. Robert's quality of life will most certainly improve.<br /><br />Have fun with all the logistics! I'm only guessing, but you seem the type who has mad organizational abilities. Keep us posted!bccmeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15549577176138160033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-89514793815741149412011-07-17T07:22:07.965-07:002011-07-17T07:22:07.965-07:00Heidi, "Home mother" -- Love it!! I defi...Heidi, "Home mother" -- Love it!! I definitely feel that way sometimes when I have to remind Robert to listen when he gets stubborn or tell him to eat in smaller bites. :-) I will not turn down help so I will let you know if painting help is needed (although I would owe you several more lunches. I know you loved that restaurant -- is that what you're angling for? LOL!). As far as my hair color . . . it's one thing I tend to change so think I'm a little darker than the last time we met. Keep your paintbrush handy -- I'll talk to you soon.Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-61266388374961028182011-07-17T07:17:33.729-07:002011-07-17T07:17:33.729-07:00Judy, I hope you do make me accountable for taking...Judy, I hope you do make me accountable for taking care of myself! I have gotten much better about that over the years (although I still need to exercise and eat better) but I don't want the things I do to mentally recharge to disappear. That may seem selfish but I believe caregivers have to take care of themselves or we are not going to do anyone any good. I appreciate you being here for me!Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-75829387696852517782011-07-17T07:15:09.217-07:002011-07-17T07:15:09.217-07:00Fiona, You are so right about the "flow."...Fiona, You are so right about the "flow." I don't have all the logistics worked out but I have complete faith that I am on the right path and doors will open as I move along it (even it may seem they won't right now). I have to tell you that the guidance you give through your blog, tweets, etc. seems to speak directly to me and more than one "tweet" has motivated me to action in this matter and others. I can't thank you enough for being on the path with me.Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-44742936959686878532011-07-17T05:21:32.991-07:002011-07-17T05:21:32.991-07:00Trish, what an amazing turn of events. But I know ...Trish, what an amazing turn of events. But I know these decisions come from the heart, so you know completely that this is the right thing no matter how things may look. When you are in the flow, everything just naturally resolves itself. I can really sense your excitement at this decision and that alone is a sign that you are doing the right thing for everyone.<br /><br />What a beautiful gift you are sharing with Robert. What an act of love. Bless you. x<br /><br />Fiona Stolze<br />Inspired Art and Living<br />http://fionastolze.comFiona Stolzehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00343231825594699539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-15657279841733195852011-07-16T21:53:54.946-07:002011-07-16T21:53:54.946-07:00Trish, Having done some out-of-home caretaking mys...Trish, Having done some out-of-home caretaking myself - although not on the order of what you do - I am aware of what a monumental undertaking this is for you. I also understand it, the desire to provide a really loving environment and to be free of hassles associated with care in facilities. I am in awe of your love and determination, and your capacity and willingness to develop your relationship with Robert over the years.<br /><br />Needless to say, I will be among those eager to follow the story and keeping my fingers crossed that each obstacle that arises will be met with a solution.<br /><br />I also plan to nag you (lovingly, of course) and make sure you are taking care of yourself, too!<br /><br />Judy Stone-Goldman<br />The Reflective Writer<br />Personal-Professional Balance Through WritingJudy Stone-Goldmanhttp://www.thereflectivewriter.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-44989306675813122162011-07-16T17:50:39.561-07:002011-07-16T17:50:39.561-07:00Wow, Trish --- this is a big undertaking! But I k...Wow, Trish --- this is a big undertaking! But I know you will rise to the challenge, and Robert will be better for it. As others have said, you are such an amazing and admirable woman!! I know this decision wasn't easy, but now that you've made it I Know you will serve brilliantly as Robert's "home mother" --- so much better than those cranky nurse Ratchet's you've had to deal with.<br />I love June's suggestions about cutting costs with doing some of the work yourselves. I (seriously) enjoy interior painting (probably the only home improvement skill I have) so if you need help, I'm here for you. Heck, you treated me to lunch a few weeks ago --- I owe you something!! <br />one question.... "brown sugar" -- really? your hair is Gorgeous but I detected red tones & I didn't know brown sugar could be red!! lol :)<br />Heidi & Atticus<br />http://www.atticusuncensored.com<br />"commentary to give you paws..."Heidi Alberti & Atticus Uncensoredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05235433621038051444noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-21645879163790560972011-07-16T07:39:35.828-07:002011-07-16T07:39:35.828-07:00Franziska, The support from our group (this is for...Franziska, The support from our group (this is for Louise and June and everyone else too) means so much to me and gives me strength. I'm happy we're all on this journey together!Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-2095633612622880732011-07-16T07:29:18.040-07:002011-07-16T07:29:18.040-07:00Louise, I appreciate your kind comments. I'm ...Louise, I appreciate your kind comments. I'm now familiar with a lot of caregivers and these (mostly) women do so much for their spouse/parent/child and they are all amazing (much more than I feel about what I do). I definitely need to find a person or two to rely on when we need a break. The regional center will probably be a resource as June suggested as well as a home health agency (although that gets expensive). A lot of this is a bunch of planning and a lot of hope & faith that things will work out. You're so busy right now so you reading & commenting means a lot to me. Thanks, Louise.Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-29530066519523960862011-07-16T07:15:51.714-07:002011-07-16T07:15:51.714-07:00June, I really appreciate your perspective and sug...June, I really appreciate your perspective and suggestions. My parents didn't take advantage of the Regional Center so Robert didn't get involved with them until just late last year! It's not easy to get an adult approved (getting middle school and high school records after 30 yrs? Fun!). Anyway, I'm still figuring out the services they provide and will ask them about respite care or a "sitter." My hubby and his brothers are handy so that should help with the conversion. The shower/toilet install will be the challenge. Thanks again for commenting. I'll keep you updated on our progress.Trish Hughes Kreishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04995070221130924508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-44403562493842004472011-07-15T14:56:46.606-07:002011-07-15T14:56:46.606-07:00It can be hard to move in a family member with iss...It can be hard to move in a family member with issues. I'm glad your family is being so supportive. Like you said, it doesn't have to be permanent if it doesn't work out for everyone.<br /><br />You mentioned that Robert is a client of the Regional Center? My 9yr son is autistic and had services early on with the Regional Center. They offered to pay for a sitter if I found someone who was not a family member. I know my son is still a child but it may be worth talking to them and seeing if they can help either pay for someone to help you out or if they can offer referrals.<br /><br />Are you or your husband handy around the house? If you convert the garage, can you do some of the work, painting, etc. Also, can you barter with a contractor to lower the cost? I had a neighbor who installed carpets. He got a van for his family in exchange for a carpet job (instead of getting paid).June Sockolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06227772055403044113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-5140579993789490332011-07-15T14:19:11.827-07:002011-07-15T14:19:11.827-07:00You are SUCH an amazing woman and I am so full of ...You are SUCH an amazing woman and I am so full of admiration for your devotion to your brother. He is a very lucky guy to have you! I'm sure it won't be an easy path but far less heart breaking than dealing with below par services in the other homes. And holidays? Do some places just do respite care?<br />Louise Edington<br />Fabulous and Fearless<br />http://louiseedington.comLouise Edingtonhttp://louiseedington.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3821611713908924761.post-61849408732366124422011-07-15T08:33:50.532-07:002011-07-15T08:33:50.532-07:00You are one strong and determined woman! I admire ...You are one strong and determined woman! I admire your strength, love and dedication to you your brother. I am wishing you all the best with your plans. It is amazing how you see the benefits of having him living with you and how your sense of humor doesn't let you down. <br />I raise my hat to you. Thank you for sharing with us and having us with you on your journey,<br /><br />Franziska San Pedro<br />The Abstract Impressionist ArtressFranziska San Pedrohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03321842935665484251noreply@blogger.com